


apologies to this heart of mine

by shesthemuscle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesthemuscle/pseuds/shesthemuscle
Summary: Patton knows who his soulmate is but figures they'll never be together because of his soulmate's obvious interest in someone else.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 131
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

There were three things Patton is certain of: 

  1. There’s no one more attractive than Janus.
  2. He only tolerates Patton because of their mutual friend, Virgil and being able to flirt with Roman.
  3. Janus is his soulmate.



It’s the last point that hurts Patton right in his heart because he knows he has no chance with Janus, especially not with his obvious interest in Roman. There’s no competing with Roman, in looks or personality. 

This is why he’s kept his realization about them being soulmates to himself despite the snake on his waist itching every time Janus comes within touching distance. 

One thing Patton’s always believed in is soulmates and he’s dreamed of meeting his soulmate but now, he knows they won’t be one of the soulmate success stories. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. 

“Are you alright, Patton?” 

Patton shakes his head then looks over at Logan who stares back at him; his lunch ignored for the moment. 

Before he answers, Patton’s ears pick up several familiar voices before spotting Janus entering the cafeteria with Roman, Virgil and Remus.

“Uh yeah, I just remembered that I need to ask my professor something about our test next week so I’m going to head out early and try to catch him before class,” he says, gathering his lunch items and his bag, “I’ll see you later, Lo.”

Patton quickly dashes over to the trash cans on the other side of the room, unaware of eyes following his every move. 

\-----

Dropping heavy into his seat, Patton lets out a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“What’s good, babe?”

He turns his head to the left then smiles slightly at the sight of his friends, Remy and Emile; who just happen to be soulmates. 

“The usual,” he replies, shrugging.

Remy and Emile frown then share a look -- they’re the only ones who know about Patton’s side and are determined to give him support though Patton doesn’t want them choosing sides, it’s too late for that. 

Dropping into the seat next to Patton, Emile pulls him into a hug causing Patton to squeak in surprise but quickly returns it. 

They separate then settle in their seats as the professor enters the room.

As much as he didn’t want them choosing sides, Patton admits to himself that it’s wonderful to have their support and not be alone in dealing with this. 

\-----

After class ends, Patton parts with his friends before deciding to take the long way back to his dorm because it’s a nice day out and the fresh air could do him some good. Unfortunately, he forgot this path takes him right past the theatre department. 

It hits him when he nearly falls over but Roman reaches out and steadies him by his arm.

“You alright there, Padre?” asks Roman.

Patton takes a few seconds to gather his bearings and process what happened.

“Uh, yeah. I’m good. Thanks Roman,” he gently peels Roman’s hand off of his arm, “I need to get going though. See you around.”

Before he can run away, Roman grabs his arm again then forces Patton to look at him. 

“What’s gotten into you Patton? You’ve been awfully jumpy when you’re not running away from your friends,” Roman frowns, “We’re worried about you. Is someone bothering you or something?”

Regardless of his personal feelings regarding, Roman and Janus...Patton knows Roman is a really good friend to have. 

“No, no one is bothering me and no, you guys didn’t do anything,” Patton responds. 

“Then what is it? We miss hanging out with you.”

Patton runs a hand through his hair then sighs. 

“Don’t worry, it’s me that’s the problem. Well, my problem to deal with,” says Patton softly. 

“Patton…,” replies Roman equally as soft.

That’s as much as Roman gets to say before Patton tugs his arm out of Roman’s hold then dashing off.


	2. Chapter 2

Why on Earth did he let Virgil talk him into this? 

Hanging out with his friends is all fine and dandy except for seeing his soulmate flirting with Roman. At least, he’s managing to keep away from Janus so he’s not scratching at his mark so much that it gives away his secret. 

Patton sighs as his gaze wanders over to Roman, Remus and Emile engaged in another Mario Kart race with Janus, Remy and Virgil cheering their respective person on. 

Letting his gaze drop to his plate, he decides to make an escape into their kitchen and maybe, take a deep breath or two and let go of the stress he’s holding onto but hiding behind a fake smile in order to protect his secret. 

He stands from his chair unnoticed by the group then heads into the kitchen. 

Boxes of pizza lay scattered on the counter, intermixed with bags of chips and bottles of soda.

Patton takes a deep breath to clear his head.

“Ah, there you are, Patton.”

He looks over to the doorway and smiles slightly at Logan.

“Hey Lo. Getting something else to eat?” he asks.

“You would be correct, Patton. Considering the situation and your question, I conclude you are doing the same as well,” Logan replies.

Patton nods his head before focusing on choosing which pizza he wants to try next.

A loud shout then cheering comes from the living room causing Logan to roll his eyes and Patton to giggle at his antics. 

“Oh honesty. They should just kiss and put us all out of our misery,” comments Logan. 

Patton raises an eyebrow at his comment.

“Who needs to kiss?” 

Placing his plate down on the counter, Logan removes his glasses before rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighs before replacing his glasses.

“Roman and Janus, of course. Even you, of all people can’t have missed their flirting,” answers Logan as he focuses on his selection, deciding to let up on his strict dietary choices for the evening. 

Biting his tongue, Patton’s glad that Logan is distracted and not looking at him so he can’t see the effect his words had on Patton. This proves he’s right to keep the knowledge of being Janus’ soulmate to himself. 

“It is quite the shame that Janus and Roman aren’t soulmates. They’re exhibiting all of the signs of being soulmates, just without the marks,” says Logan. 

“How do you know they’re not?” questions Patton nonchalantly.

Logan moves to stand near Patton as he takes a bite out of his pizza.

“Roman showed me his bare wrist, though he’s convinced he has one. Though, Janus...on the other hand, has been very secretive and even wears gloves, so I conclude he has a soulmate but has not met that individual yet,” explains Logan patiently.

Patton nods and pretends to agree with Logan.

“I’m gonna go back out and see if I can get in on the action.”

Patton throws out his half eaten pizza before dashing out into the living room before Logan could respond. 

This freaking sucks.

As he enters the room, Emile catches his eye before holding up the controller and Patton nods in response. Maybe, a race or two will be the distraction he needs; though, he has to walk right in front of Janus and resist the urge to scratch his mark because it becomes unbearable the longer he’s in touching distance of his soulmate. 

Patton settles on the floor before taking the controller from Emile, who settles in next to him. Then he looks around to see Virgil taking the controller from Remus and Roman holds up his controller towards Remy who shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m good. Gotta cheer on my guy, Patton,” Remy says, a smirk playing on his lips.

Until Emile coughs that is.

“Ah, I mean... _ our guy _ .”

Patton blushes as he tries to smack Remy’s leg, it being the closest part of his friend he can reach. His blush grows brighter the moment Emile snuggles up to him from behind. 

Eyes follow Patton’s antics then narrow at touches he exchanges with his friends. 

\-----

Apparently, the hangout was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Patton in regards to Janus. 

He panics because his longing for his soulmate grows a little more each day. 

Part of him wants to avoid Janus but this isn’t one of Roman’s romcoms; they live on the same floor of the same dorm and share the same group of friends. Avoiding Janus is out of the question. Besides, everyone would question him and he’d be forced to reveal his secret. Patton knows it would only end rejection for him and awkwardness for everyone. 

Patton can’t deny though, avoiding Janus holds some attraction to him. 

“Hey, Pat. You good?”

Jumping slightly and slamming his knee into the counter at the unexpected voice, he winces in pain as Roman rushes over to him. The moment he realizes it is Roman, Patton stumbles backwards and lands on his butt with a loud thump.

“Patton?” asks Roman reaching out a hand to help him up. 

Looking at the offered hand, Patton sighs before getting up onto his feet under his own power and ignoring Roman completely. As he turns away, Roman’s hand shoots out and grabs him by the arm causing Patton to look at him.

“Have I done something to upset you? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he says gently, “I miss you, Patton.”

Patton opens his mouth to respond as Janus appears in the door.

“Hey Roman? We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave….now,” he looks at the two of them with a raised eyebrow, “is everything alright in here?” 

Removing Roman’s arm from his, Patton sighs then puts on a bright smile. 

“You know me, Janus; living the dream,” he responds.

Patton brushes past Janus, roughly bumping his shoulder against Janus’ without thinking before quickly dashing to his room and closing the door behind him. Once it’s locked, he collapses against it and lets out a hiss at the consequences of his rash behavior and makes themselves known.

He’s screwed. 


	3. Chapter 3

There’s something wonderful about throwing your body down onto a comfy bed, whether it’s yours or one of your friends’. This is one of Patton’s long held beliefs. 

He presses his face into Emile’s pillow that smells like cotton candy then lets out a long sigh. The moment he feels hands massaging his shoulders, he melts into the mattress. There’s not much noise as he enjoys the sensation. 

Eventually, the hands stop their caring motions with one last squeeze to his shoulders.

“Feel better, babe?”

Patton rolls over then smiles lazily up at Remy. 

“Your hands are magic,” he compliments.

“Your shoulders aren’t the only part of you, they’re willing to take care of.”

Patton feels a light blush blossom on his face but he’s so relaxed, that’s all he has energy for. 

“Flirting with Patton already, sweetheart?” 

They look towards the doorway of Remy and Emile’s room where they spot their favorite pink-haired person. 

Emile smiles at them before toeing off his shoes, closing the door and joining them on the bed. 

“Oh babe, you know how I can’t resist Patton; though, I’m not the only one with that problem….”

Patton covers his face with his hands but not for long; Emile grabs them in his own then smothers his face with lots of quick kisses causing Patton to giggle in response. 

The barrage ends then Emile lets go of his hands before snuggling up to Patton’s side. 

Remy copies Emile’s positioning on the other side of Patton. 

Sometimes and secretly, part of Patton wishes Remy and Emile were his soulmates instead of Janus. It’s so easy being with them, being happy when it’s just them. This is what he always believed finding and being with his soulmate would be like. 

A finger bops his nose.

“What are you thinking about, dumpling?” asks Emile. 

Patton bites his lips then understanding flashes across Emile’s face. 

“I never thought that after finding my soulmate, I’d still end up alone,” admits Patton softly. 

“You’re not though and you won’t be,” states Remy firmly. 

Patton tilts his head to the side as he looks at Remy’s serious expression. 

Stroking Patton’s cheek gently, Remy softens his expression until there’s a fond smile on his face.

“You’ll always have us.”

Tears well up in Patton’s eyes so Emile moves Patton so his face presses against Emile’s shoulder as the pair hug him from both sides while he cries. 

Remy and Emile share a look over Patton. 

“Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without,” says Patton softly, giving them both a small smile. 

“Well, as my sweetie said...you’re stuck with us, Pattycakes,” replies Emile.

Patton presses a kiss to Emile’s cheek causing him to beam while Remy pouts. 

“What about me? I’m the one who gave you the wonderful shoulder massage,” he points out. 

Laughing, Patton shifts his position then kisses Remy’s cheek.

“Much better,” Remy states as a soft blush blossoms on his face.

“Alright lovebirds, time to watch some more Avatar because its been one of those kind of days,” says Emile. 

Patton claps as Remy grabs the remote and brings up Avatar: the Last Airbender on the tv before he and Emile retake their positions on either side of Patton as the next episode starts playing.

Letting out a sigh of contentment, Patton lets himself just be in the moment. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Omgsomeonesomewhereonearth for giving me so much inspiration for this chapter that I got so hyped up, I had to sit down and write it as soon as I got home from work!
> 
> The first part of this chapter happens about the same time as the previous one.

Relaxing in the chair, Janus takes a sip of his wine while watching the antics of his friends around him. The white wine is crisp and a little sour but not to the point of being overwhelming, just how he likes it. A chill afternoon is what they all need and deserve if he’s honest. 

“Alright, alright alright. The gang’s all here!” exclaims Remus loudly as he bounds into the living room. 

Janus meets Logan’s gaze and smirks behind his glass as he gets an eye roll from his genius friend. Then he happens to look around the room and does a head count. 

They’re one head short or if he’s being accurate --- three heads short but it’s not like he considers Remy and Emile his friends; they’re just two people who hang around Patton too much and take up too much of his attention, is all. 

“Patton’s not here, Remus. So no, the gang’s not all here,” he comments helpfully. 

“Neither are Remy or Emile,” adds Roman.

Only Remus notices how his grip tightens on the arm of the chair at the names. 

“Patton’s over at Remy and Emile’s for the afternoon,” chimes in Virgil from where he’s sitting on the floor at Janus’ feet. 

Janus narrows his eyes.

Why is Patton there? He should be here with hi-with his friends. 

Shaking his head slightly, he tries to push the thoughts of Patton away but Patton has a stubborn grip on his mind. He thinks about the last hangout and can’t help glaring at his wine glass --- the way Remy and Emile hung all over Patton (more like hogged Patton all to themselves), the weird look on Patton’s face any time Janus managed to catch Patton staring at him....how far away from him Patton stayed.

The last memory hits Janus hard in the heart and he barely manages to muffle his gasp so no one else especially Virgil can hear him. 

A hand squeezes his shoulder gently causing him to break out of his thoughts as the others argue about what to watch and look up at Remus, who stares at him with a concerned look for his best friend. 

“You alright, J?” asks Remus softly as to avoid drawing attention to themselves. 

Janus bites his lip.

“I was...ah _thinking_.”

Remus stares at him in confusion for a few seconds then he gets it.

“I hope this plays out the way you want it too and doesn’t end up blowing up in your face instead,” Remus states before going over to the couch and plopping down next to Logan before putting his head in Logan’s lap and taking over the rest of the couch. 

The startled expression on Logan’s face nearly makes Janus chuckle. 

Nearly. 

\-----

Sometimes, making simple things in the kitchen are the most delicious and in this case, puppy chow mix is a perfect example. 

Patton grins down at the bowl and he’s sure he’s got powdered sugar on his face, at least on his glasses but he doesn’t care. All that matters is he’s making something delicious to share with all of his friends. The fact that this is one of Remus’ favorite snacks and he’s been down lately is purely coincidental. 

“Hey Pat, whatcha up to in here?”

Patton looks at the doorway and grins at the sight of Virgil standing there. 

“Hey Virge! I’m making puppy chow mix. Want some?” responds Patton.

Virgil raises an eyebrow as he tries to hide a smile at his best friend’s exuberance. 

“Is the sky blue? Of course, I want some,” he crosses the room then hops up on the counter, out of the way of Patton, “if I don’t get some now before Remus gets a hold of the Puppy Chow mix then I’ll never get some.”

Patton chuckles. 

“Oh, I’ve already made Remus his own batch, not to worry.”

Virgil nods his head. 

It’s easy to watch Patton work but it’s harder to not want to join in when Patton’s so excited about what he’s doing.

Then Virgil notices Patton’s glasses. 

“With all of the powdered sugar on your glasses, I’m amazed you can see anything at all,” he teases.

Patton simply grins at him before sticking his finger into the powdered sugar then booping Virgil on the nose. 

Blinking, it takes his brain a couple seconds to process what happened. Then Virgil laughs, drawing laughter from Patton. This is one of the reasons Patton is his best friend.

He goes over to the sink and turns on the faucet before wetting a paper towel and using it to wipe off his glasses. Making a mess is part of the fun, at least for him it is. 

Virgil shakes his head at his best friend.

As he is about to say something else, he notices Patton’s shirt isn’t completely pulled down; instead, it shows off a strip of skin above his pants on the side of his waist. There’s something there he hadn’t been expecting to see and might explain why he’s never seen Patton without a shirt on in the few years they’ve been friends. 

Why didn’t he know about it’s existence though?

It seems very unPatton-like to keep this to himself as soulmates seem like something right up his alleyway as a romantic person at heart. 

“Is that a soulmark, Patton?” asks Virgil out of the blue.

Startled, Patton jumps up then tugs on the hem of his shirt where it had risen up and showed off a yellow snake outline. 

“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Patton tries to make a mad dash out of the kitchen but Virgil blocks his exit.

“You have a soulmark and never told me?” he asks firmly.

Looking down at the floor, Patton doesn’t know how to answer. 

“What does it matter? I’m never gonna get to be with him.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow at the confession.

“Him?”

Patton meets Virgil’s gaze as he slaps his hands on his mouth.

“Patton, I want you to be honest with me…is Janus your soulmate?”


	5. Chapter 5

The breath leaves Patton’s lungs as he stares wide-eyed at Virgil, who stares back at him a few feet away. 

How does he get out of this one?

Virgil is his best friend and he didn’t know until now about the soulmark. 

Unable to stand the pressure of Virgil’s gaze, Patton drops his eyes to the floor before tugging down the hem of his shirt. 

“I just….I know how you feel about Janus and I didn’t...I know how you feel about the idea of soulmates. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable….”

Virgil doesn’t say anything but a couple seconds later, a pair of arms wrap themselves around Patton and he reflexively returns the hug. Smiling against the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie when Patton feels Virgil kiss the top of his head, Patton knows he should have known better.

“Oh Pat. You’re my best friend and all I want, have ever wanted is for you to be happy even if it means being with Janus.” 

Patton sighs, causing Virgil to pull back a little so he can cup Patton’s face and look at him with a frown on his face. 

“Thanks Vee but that’s never gonna happen. You see how he flirts with Roman all the time...what chance do I have?”

Not sure what to say to comfort his best friend, Virgil lowers them both down to the ground so he’s cuddling Patton while leaning his back against one of the lower cabinets. 

“You know, you don’t have to end up with your soulmate but you deserve to,” Virgil whispers against the top of Patton’s head. 

Patton presses a kiss to Virgil’s cheek.

“Thanks Virgil.”

“Besides, it’s not like you’re without suitors of your own as it is,” comments Virgil, a smirk playing on his lips. 

Putting some space between them, Patton looks up at Virgil in confusion.

“Remy and Emile.”

Patton buries his face into Virgil’s shoulder to hide his blushing face from his best friend because he doesn’t know if Virgil is teasing him or being serious.

Virgil laughs.

Running a hand through Patton’s hair, he wishes his best friend could see how loveable and desired he is. After all, he may or may not have had to have a few words with Remy and Emile but Patton doesn’t need to know that. What can he say? He’s protective of his best friend. 

He hears footsteps quickly approaching the kitchen and if he can make out the voices, those feet belong to Janus and Roman. It takes all of his willpower to not groan out loud. 

“Come on, Pat. Let’s get up so we grab your awesome snack and watch Youtube,” suggest Virgil. 

Patton nods his head then lets Virgil help him up. 

“Well, well, well….what’s going on here?”

They quickly spin towards the doorway where they spot Roman and Janus standing there; it had been Roman who spoke.

Patton feels his heart start to race at the sight of his soulmate. 

“What’s it to you, Princey?” asks Virgil. 

“I...uh, well….” 

Roman tries to figure out what to say but closes his mouth with a snap when he couldn’t come up with anything. 

Shaking his head to hide his smile, Virgil grabs the bowl of Puppy Chow mix in one hand then grabs Patton’s hand with his other one before leading them out of the kitchen. 

As Virgil drags him out of the room, Patton can’t help but notice the way Roman’s eyes barely drift away from Virgil before going back to him.

Right as he goes to leave the kitchen, Patton accidentally meets Janus’ gaze and the emotion he sees in Janus’ eyes but can’t name, absolutely takes his breath away. 


	6. Chapter 6

There’s something going on, centering on/around Patton and Janus is going to get to the bottom of it. It started with Remy and Emile but now it’s including Virgil and this will not be allowed to continue. Of course, Patton and Virgil have always been close, Janus knows but lately something has changed; ever since he saw them in the kitchen. 

Janus also knows he can’t get to the bottom of this alone -- he’ll need the Shaggy to his Scooby Doo. 

Making his way to Remus’ room, Janus mentally plans how he’s going to convince his best friend to help him. 

He arrives at his destination to see the door closed so he reaches out to the doorknob, turns it then opens the door --- only to freeze at the sight of Remus and Logan sitting close together on Remus’ bed and watching something on his laptop.

They looked up at Janus in surprise, not expecting Janus to barge into Remus’ room like he did. 

“Hey J. Ya need somethin’?” asks Remus.

Janus smiles slightly.

“I do but you’re in the middle of something. I apologize for interrupting,” replies Janus.

He goes to leave the room when Logan’s voice stops him.

“You’re not interrupting anything. We just finished our viewing of the documentary about deep sea creatures we planned for the day.”

Janus looks between them and takes confidence from Remus’ encouraging grin. 

“Pull up a chair, Jay and tell us up’s up,” says Remus, waving a hand at his desk chair. 

“I concur. Something has been weighing on your mind lately and though, we are not as close as you and Remus are, I do hope you know you can talk to me...Janus,” offers up Logan. 

Janus blinks at the unexpected offer of support. 

Grabbing the chair, he swings it so the back of the chair faces his friends and lets him rest his arms on the top of it.

“There’s something going on around here and I want to get to the bottom of it. But I can’t do it alone, so I need your help, both of you,” Janus states firmly.

Remus tilts his head to the side as he stares at Janus. 

“Does this include the stares and glares Spidey has been sending your way the last couple days when you’re in the same room as Patsy?” he asks. 

Janus takes a deep breath then sighs.

“See. This is why I want your help, Remus.”

Tapping his wrist on the closed laptop laying in his lap, Logan considers all the information he knows. 

“Excuse me for asking the obvious but have you tried asking Virgil about what’s going on?” asks Logan.

Janus shrugs sheepishly as Remus snorts in response to the question. 

“He’s not my biggest fan, if you haven’t noticed,” Janus replies. 

“Then you could perhaps talk to Patton then; when Virgil isn’t around that is,” suggests Logan. 

Remus bursts out laughing then ends up leaning against Logan’s shoulder, causing him to blink in confusion at Remus’ reaction to his suggestion. 

“Good luck getting him to do that. Jay’s a stubborn bastard like that,” he explains as he makes himself comfortable leaning on Logan. 

Janus smirks. 

“Like you’re one to talk, Rem.”

Grabbing his pillow, Remus throws it at Janus and manages to knock off his hat, resulting in a glare from his best friend. 

“As amusing as this is, perhaps we should get back to the matter at hand,” interrupts Logan. 

Remus snuggles back up to him causing Logan to fight to keep from blushing though from the smug smirk on Janus’ face, he’s failing spectacularly. 

“You have two choices, talk to Patton or talk to Virgil. Those would be the most efficient means to figure out what is going on in order to satisfy your curiosity.”

“Uh fine. You have a point. I’ll go talk to Patton,” says Janus dramatically.

“Thank fuck. Logan, you’re now my favorite person,” comments Remus. 

Without thinking, Remus pulls Logan’s face towards him but instead of kissing Logan’s cheek, he plants one on Logan’s lips causing them to freeze and Janus to laugh at them. Then they jump back, an electric shock jumping between them. Remus stares at Logan who stares back at him. 

Then Remus rips off his shirt and there on his shoulder is a navy blue raven outline. 

“Holy shit Batman.”

Logan blinks a couple times then shakes his head in disbelief. 

“If you just received your soulmark then that means….” Logan trails off.

Janus, picking up on Logan’s discomfort, has an idea.

“Logan, my room’s across the hall and I have a full length mirror you can use privately.”

Nodding his head in thanks, Logan quickly makes his way to Janus’ room then closes the door behind him. Locating the mirror isn’t hard and in a few quick seconds, Logan stands before the mirror. He takes a couple deep breaths before removing his shirt from his person then turns around to look at his shoulder. 

There….sitting on his shoulder blade like it’s been there all of his life is a green outline of an octopus. 

He has a soulmate. 

Logan has a soulmate and his name is Remus.

Unable to contain his smile, he dashes back over to Remus’ room where his soulmate waits not so patiently for him. 

Remus looks up at Logan, a hopeful smile on his face where he sits on his bed as Janus rubs his shoulder in comfort. 

Moving across the room, Logan drops to his knees in front of Remus then cups his face gently. 

“You’re my soulmate.”

Remus smiles softly, in a manner neither man had ever seen from him, as he leans towards Logan.

“My soulmate. You exist.”

Remus closes the distance between their lips with a gentle but meaningful kiss. 

They separate and look at Janus when they hear him gasp loudly.

“Your tattoos...they’re filled in. They only fill in when both soulmates accept the bond,” he explains. 

Seeing the matching dopey grins of their faces, Janus decides it’s in his best interest to leave.

“Congrats on the bond. I’ll leave you two to it.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Pat, there’s something I’ve been wondering about,” Virgil turns onto his side so he’s looking at his best friend lying next to him, “if you’re cool with me asking about your soulmark.”

Patton copies Virgil’s position on his opposite side. 

“Yeah, go for it Virge.”

Staring at Patton, he took a few seconds to gather his thoughts about how he wants to ask what he wants to ask. 

“What’s the story of your tattoo? I mean, clearly you and Janus kissed but you’re not together and you’ve been keeping it to yourself so....?”

Letting out a sigh, Patton knew this had been coming since Virgil found out about his mark. He’s not sure how to explain it in a way that makes sense. 

“Do you remember the first time we celebrated the Twins’ birthday as a group? Freshman year and we drank a lot before playing Truth or Dare…”

Virgil taps his chin with his finger as he thinks back to that night.

_ The eight men were hanging it out in the lounge of their dorm floor with poorly disguised bottles of alcohol being passed around. No one had the guts to actually ask Remus how he got them; some things were better left unknown.  _

_ Roman sits up straight out of the blue causing Virgil to frown because he’d been comfortably leaning against Princey’s side. He takes a swig of alcohol. _

_ “Oh! I have an idea! Let’s play ‘Truth or Dare!’ _

_ Remus and Janus smirk while Logan looks like he’s going to refuse to join in. _

_ “Ooh! I’ve never played ‘Truth or Dare’ before,” comments Patton before he giggles and almost falls off of the chair if not for the steady hands of Janus, whose lap he’s sitting on because he didn’t want to sit on the floor.  _

_ Over the course of the game, things were seen that couldn’t be unseen, heard that couldn’t be unheard and memories made that those involved would hope to be forgotten.  _

_ Roman looks at Patton, still sitting on Janus’ lap and claps his hands. _

_ “So Patton….truth or dare?” _

_ Patton considers his choices and his previous ones before choosing the one that would change his life forever.  _

_ “Dare!” _

_ Roman smirks, his plan working out how he hoped it would. _

_ “I dare you to kiss Janus on the lips, a proper kiss.” _

_ Patton blushes as he hesitantly looks at Janus who gives him a soft and approving smile. _

_ Bringing his hands up to cup Janus’ cheeks, briefly admiring how soft his skin is before moving in for the kiss. Janus’ lips are as soft as his skin and very supple and firm under Patton’s. Suddenly, there’s a shock like an electrical current that jumps from him to Janus and back again, causing them to separate and stare at each other.  _

_ Bang! Bang! _

_ It comes from the kitchen where Remus had been attempting to microwave something.  _

_ Janus jumps up off the couch and dashes towards the kitchen to make sure his best friend is alright and nothing is on fire.  _

_ Shaking his head, Patton gently touches his lips with his fingers and discovers they’re still tingling from whatever happened between him and Janus. He grabs one of the half empty bottles and takes a long swig, coughing slightly at the taste of whiskey.  _

_ By the time Janus and Remus return to the living room, the group decided to watch a movie and Patton curled up with Emile on the floor.  _

Virgil’s eyes widen as memories of that night come flooding back to him. 

Playing with the hem of his cat hoodie, Patton gives Virgil a slight smile. 

“I never said anything afterwards because I didn’t actually think I’d ever find my soulmate and you know how intimidated by Janus I was back then. I didn’t want him to be disappointed that I’m his soulmate, I still don’t.”

Virgil grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. 

“And not too long after that night, once we all got over our massive hangovers….Janus started flirting with Roman.”

Nodding his head, Patton moves closer to Virgil who moves so he’s laying on his back in order for Patton to place his head on his shoulder and cuddle close. ‘

“I take it that Remy and Emile know?” asks Virgil.

“They do though I didn’t mean for them to find out especially before you,” replies Patton. 

Virgil kisses Patton’s cheek. 

“I’m glad to hear that, Popstar.”

Patton smiles.

“It was about the time they found out they were soulmates and Emile panicked. He came barging into my room, hyperventilating as I was changing my shirt and he saw my mark. Then we got to talking. It didn’t take Remy long to make his way to my room and I had forgotten all about my shirt so….”

Shrugging, Patton runs a hand through his hair as Virgil snorts. 

“Man, I could only imagine what that must have been like; the absolute chaos of it all,” he comments. 

“I’m glad I was able to help them sort themselves out and it’s been nice having people to talk about it, who’ve been through the whole soulmate discovery thing,” says Patton. 

“True, that’s helpful I assume. If it happens for me then it happens but it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t. I still got you and the rest of the gang.” 

Patton kisses Virgil’s cheek.

“True dat, homie.”

Virgil shakes his head.

“Please don’t ever say something like that again.”

Patton laughs.

“I make no promises.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Enough is enough, Patton. We need to talk.”

Patton looks up from the adult coloring book he uses to relax as Roman storms into the living room. Placing the book to the side, he stands up to face his friend; unsure about what Roman wants to talk about. 

“What’s up, Roman?” Patton asks concernedly. 

Roman sighs, stopping a few feet away.

“You. Me. Us….”he runs a hand through his hair “I miss you Patton. We don’t spend much time together unless it’s with the group and I’ve struggled to figure out what I did wrong to make you not like me enough to want to hang out anymore. 

Patton blinks at him, never expecting Roman to miss his presence but he’s also in a pickle because he doesn’t know how to explain his jealousy over Roman’s interactions with his soulmate. 

“I don’t hate you or anything, Roman. I swear!”

Roman frowns. 

“Then why Patton?”

Gosh, this is so hard and awkward to explain. 

They stare at each other for a few moments when Virgil comes in and raises an eyebrow at the two of him. 

“Alright my dudes, what’s goin’ on here? What’s with the whole showdown stare down?” Virgil asks. 

“Thank god, you’re here J-Delightful. You can help me figure out why Patton doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore,” comments Roman.

Virgil’s eyes widen then he looks at Patton before meeting Roman’s frown. 

“Unless you already know why and haven’t said anything….”

“It’s not my, uh place to say anything, Princey. I mean, you’ve been pretty busy with other people too.”

“Virge!” Patton yells.

Slapping his hands across his mouth, Virgil can’t believe he said that.

Roman tilts his head to the side in confusion until it hits him.

“This is about Janus.”

Patton covers his face, surprised his secret is on the verge of getting out again especially to one the last people he’d ever want to find out about it. The only person worse to find out about it would be….

“What’s this about me?”

Janus walks into the room and stares at everyone though his eyes linger on Patton.

Seeing this for what it is and wanting his best friend to be happy, Virgil grabs Roman by the arm and drags him from the room.

“You two need to talk and put the rest of us out of our misery, once and for all,” Virgil pauses and looks back over his shoulder, meeting Janus’ gaze, “Hurt him and I’ll hurt you.”

Feeling Roman trying to break out of his grip, Virgil tightens his hold before continuing on dragging Roman to his room so the other two can finally sort themselves out. 

The pair blink as they watch their friends disappear from view.

Then they look at each other as the air buzzes with tension as they realize whatever happens next will change things.

Whether that’s for the good or for the bad remains to be seen.

One thing is for certain...Patton and his secret have run out of time.


	9. Chapter 9

Virgil drags Roman as far away from the living room as possible, to ensure that Patton and Janus have privacy for their conversation. However, this means he ends up with Princey in his bedroom and not under the circumstances he would have preferred. 

“Alright, Storm Cloud. What was that all about?” asks Roman, the moment Virgil releases his arm. 

Virgil huffs, not knowing how to answer but knowing that the cat’s hopefully coming out of the bag in the living room certainly helps him decide to tell the truth, more or less.

“Surely, you must have noticed the situation between Patton and Janus,” he runs a hand through his hair but not noticing the way Roman’s staring at him, “the opportunity to finally get everything out into the open presented itself, so I figured I would give them a hand to take it. They didn’t need an audience so…..”

Virgil shrugs. 

“Uh, duh. Even Logan without his glasses on would notice something going on there, especially lately. What with all the glares and stares being tossed around,” replies Roman.

He taps his chin then looks at Virgil.

“You know, there’s something else I wanna ask about,” he says.

Moving across the room, Roman stands close to Virgil, causing him to raise an eyebrow in response. 

“If you wanted to get me alone in your room, all you had to do was tell me. There’s no need for the dragging though with your grip, I didn’t know you like it rough,” flirts Roman.

Virgil’s jaw drops open as he blushes the same shade as Roman’s favorite color. 

“That’s not--I didn’t--you’re reading too much into this, Princey!”

Roman chuckles. 

“Then what’s been with all the staring? I know I look good, you can admit it.”

Biting his tongue, Virgil crosses his arms and refuses to respond as Roman’s gaze lingers on him and his blush only gets worse. 

“You’re too cute, Storm Cloud,” compliments Roman with a smile.

“Will. You. Shut. Up?”

Shaking his head, Roman continues to grin.

“Now why would I do that when I am getting such an adorable reaction from you?”

Uncrossing his arms, Virgil opens then closes his fists several times as irritation and something else flutters across his face causing Roman’s grin to widen in response. 

“Gah! You’re so frustrating! What am I going to do with you?” 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something, handsome.”

Virgil throws his hands up in the air.

“Oh shut up already!”

Roman smirks at Virgil.

“Make me.”

Later on, Virgil would claim it was all the stress from Patton and Janus' situation that made it easier for Roman to get under his skin, not that anyone would believe him, that made him do what he did. 

Virgil reaches up, grabs Roman by the collar then pulls him down before proceeding to kiss him firmly on the lips. 

\-----

Time has run out and Patton feels like he’s sweating up a storm. 

God, Janus will hate him for keeping this a secret all this time regardless of his feelings and behavior involving Roman. Why did he think not saying anything would be a good idea again?

“What is going on, Patton? Don’t say that there isn’t because I’ve noticed. I’ve wanted to ask you for awhile now,” comments Janus softly. 

All Patton wants to do is reach out and grab Janus so he doesn’t leave. Does he deserve that though? 

He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to avoid looking at Janus but he can’t keep his gaze away from his soulmate. 

“You want the truth, Janus? I’m scared to tell you but if you want to know then you deserve to know,” says Patton. 

Patton’s words stir worry and fear in Janus’ chest, that something or someone could hurt him or worse, make him lose Patton forever. Janus knows he wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Spotting the look on Janus’ face, Patton knows he’s going down the same path Roman did when he asked Patton what’s wrong so long ago.

“I’m not in danger or anything like that,” Patton rushes to comfort his soulmate, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest at the thought of his soulmate caring about him even platonically, “you don’t need to worry, Janus.”

A weight drops from his shoulder and Janus relaxes his stance, smiling a relieved smile towards Patton. 

The concern still lingers. 

“Then what is it, Patton? You know you can tell me anything,” says Janus.

Gosh, this is so hard. 

“You’ll hate me for not telling you sooner and it will kill me when you stop wanting anything to do with me,” Patton admits, looking down at the floor.

Janus’ eyes widen and he stops breathing for a few moments.

There’s nothing in this world that would make him hate his sou-hate Patton and want nothing to do with him anymore. Besides, Virgil would absolutely kill Janus for upsetting Patton.

Patton takes a deep breath, knowing this is it and his life will change but whether it’s for the better or for the worse, he doesn’t know. 

No more running. 

No more keeping what they are a secret.

Patton looks up and meets Janus’ gaze, taking comfort in the smile he sent Patton. 

“You and I….we are soulmates and I’ve known since the twins’ party back in freshman year when we kissed because Roman dared us to,” he confesses.

Janus blinks then stares at Patton for a few moments.

“Oh thank God it wasn’t anything serious.”

Patton tilts his head to the side in confusion but before he says a word, Janus removes the glove from his right hand before showing his wrist to Patton.

There sits an outline of a light blue frog.

“OH!” responds Patton with a grin.

Then he frowns.

“So, you don’t hate me for not speaking up and saying something?” he asks.

Janus shakes his head.

“I wish one of us would have said something sooner, all that time wasted when we could have been together but I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you because I love you, Patton,” he takes a few steps until he’s in front of Patton, “even before I knew we’re soulmates, I loved you.”

Staring up at Janus, Patton could tell he’s tearing up because Janus said everything he wanted to hear. 

Is this a dream?

In that moment, Janus remembers the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ and since Patton isn’t being convinced by his words, he’ll have to show his soulmate how he feels about Patton being the one for him. 

Besides, he’s done fighting his desire to kiss Patton after all of this time. 


	10. Chapter 10

Janus gently cups Patton’s face with both of his hands and smiles as he watches a blush blossom on Patton’s face in response. He rubs one of Patton’s cheeks with his thumb, simply taking in the moment because he’s finally where he’s meant to be. However, he also knows this will change everything for them so it shouldn’t be rushed. 

He presses his forehead against Patton’s as he keeps his gaze locked with his soulmate’s. 

“May I kiss you, Patton?” asks Janus softly. 

Patton beams up at him.

“Yes, Janus. You may,” he replies just as softly. 

Slowly, the distance between the soulmates disappears until Janus feels Patton’s lips beneath his. 

Oh, how he’s dreamed of this moment. 

He presses his lips firmly against Patton’s then when he’s sure this isn’t a dream then drops one hand from Patton’s face to grab him around his waist and pull him closer. Patton smiles against his lips at this. Then Patton wraps his arms around Janus’ neck, playing with the hair at the base of Janus’ neck with one of his hands, sending a shiver down his spine. Neither one wants to end the kiss but breathing won out in the end as they rest their foreheads against the other’s while keeping themselves wrapped around each other tightly. 

This is what had been missing with Emile and Remy. A warmth fills Patton from the top of his head to the bottoms of his feet as Janus holds him close. 

“I’m sorry, Janus,” says Patton.

Janus blinks in confusion, unsure about what brought on the apology. 

“Darling?” he asks.

Patton sighs then shakes his head before meeting Janus’ eyes with a sheepish smile on his face.

“If I hadn’t been so silly, we could have been doing this a long time ago is all.”

Janus gives him a chaste kiss, internally squealing that he can kiss Patton whenever he wants, within reason. He’d never force anything on Patton, he’d die first. 

“Oh love, I could have said something but I didn’t. Perhaps this happened right when it was meant to. Besides, what matters is we know now. I do have a question for you though,” Patton kisses his cheek then looks at him in anticipation of his question, “Will you, Patton, do me the honor of officially becoming my boyfriend?”

Patton grins brightly.

“Yes! There’s nothing I’d want more.”

Janus smiles in response, something settling in his soul but that’s as far as he gets as Patton kisses him enthusiastically which he returns in equal measure. 

They probably would have continued in that vein for sometime, to make up for lost time and all that, if not for their friends. 

“About fucking time. I thought I’d have to take some drastic measures to get you two to see the light,” Remus grins, obviously happy for his friends. 

They jump apart at the unexpected noise. 

Logan rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s antics.

“While I may not share Remus’ dramatics, I too, am happy for the two of you,” Logan smiles at them.

Remus may be Janus’ best friend but Janus’ hasn’t wanted to kill him more than he did in that moment. 

Kissing Janus’ cheek and drawing a smile out of him as he looks at Patton, Patton wraps an arm around Janus’ waist and snuggles close. Janus’ arm wraps around Patton’s shoulder and he gives him a gentle squeeze.

“So where’s my bro and Spidey?” ask Remus curiously.

“Virge’s room, i think. He wanted to give us the chance to talk without a peanut gallery so he dragged Roman off,” answers Patton.

Remus wiggles his eyebrows causing Janus and Logan to groan in response. 

“You know what? I gotta pee, be right back,” he says before quickly leaving the room.

Patton can’t help grimacing at Remus’ words. 

“Something tells me….he isn’t going to use the restroom,” comments Janus dryly.

Not two seconds later, a loud scream could be heard emanating from Virgil’s room. 

“I didn’t know Roman or Virgil could scream that loud,” confesses Patton.

“That wasn’t either of them, Patton,” responds Logan. 

“How do you…. _ oh _ .”

Seeing the slight blush on Logan’s face confirmed Janus’s suspicions on how he knows what Remus’ scream sounds and Patton seems to catch on quicker than expected if his blush is anything to go by. 

Suddenly, Remus runs into the room then tackles Logan onto the couch where he buries his face against Logan’s shoulder as he hugs onto him tightly. 

Logan blinks at his boyfriend’s behavior before he starts running a hand through Remus’ hair.

“Oh Lolo, it was horrible. Virgil was kissing Roman, that’s gross. Who’d want to kiss my brother?” 

He grimaces, causing Logan to bite his tongue so as to not laugh at his misfortune. Janus and Patton, on the other hand, had no reason not to laugh so they did. 

Looking over at his best friend, Remus sticks his tongue out causing Janus’ laughter to grow.

Janus guides Patton over to the loveseat, sits down then pulls his boyfriend down onto his lap causing giggles to erupt from Patton. 

Cue a melting Janus. 

“Uh, what’s so funny guys?” 

The quartet turn to look at the entryway where Virgil stands hand in hand with Roman. 

Turns out it was Virgil who asked the question.

Janus smirks at his friends causing them to blush while Logan sighs as he continues to comfort Remus.

“Uh, friendos...is there something you’d like to share because you gave Remus quite the scare?” asks Patton. 

Virgil rubs the back of his neck with his free hand as Roman squeezes his other hand in support. 

“Well, I wanted you two to talk, congrats by the way, so I dragged Roman to my room without much thinking. He frustrated me like he usually does,” Roman lets out a gasp at this causing Virgil to kiss his cheek, “then he dared me to make him stop talking and the only uh thing, my brain thought to do was kiss him. So, I did.”

Roman pulls Virgil close and hugs him.

“Uh yeah, turns out we’re soulmates. Isn’t that something,” says Roman. 

Patton claps his hands and squeals as Janus and Logan smile fondly at their friends. Sitting up, Remus stares at his brother for a few moments then sighs. 

“Well, I guess I can forgive you for scaring me for life because you found your soulmate and you couldn’t do any better,” says Remus seriously for all of three seconds before grinning at his brother. 

Roman sighs then returns the grin because his brother’s support means more to him than he’ll ever admit.

“Maybe try knocking next time, bro. Then you won’t end up seeing something you don’t want to.” 

Before a fight can break out, Patton whistles to get everyone’s attention.

“To celebrate all the awesome love in the room, let’s order pizza and watch a movie.”


End file.
